The Jason Lorimor Explanation

My step daughter has a *thing* with deformities. I'm not sure where this came from, but she took me over to Scott City to have the lump on my left shoulder blade looked at. The gal told me it's nothing and that she doesn't think it needs to be cut out unless I really think it needs to be cut out. I'm going to point out that I told the PA I'd rather she used a chainsaw to take a look at it than a needle.

I don't like needles. I can watch horror movies and see people getting their heads ripped off, guts pulled out, limbs yanked off, etc., but if the *bad guy* pulls out a needle to give them a shot, I cringe like a little bitch.

We were at the Bowling Alley here in Dighton, eating breakfast. I also have to explain that Amy and I stick up for each other. If Annita picks on one of us, the other sticks up for them. Amy and I had slammed Annita about something and we were all laughing....Except for Annita. Amy looked at me and said, "You're more like a step-brother than a step-dad." I burst into laughter and was still trying to regain some composure when she added, "A younger step-brother."

Back to deformities.....Amy told me that it's a deformity and I *need* to have it removed. I explained the whole "needle" thing and she didn't have a problem with that. What she told me was that by the time I decided to have it removed, the lump would have it's own rib cage! She named the lump Jason and he has taken on his own life.

Probably a week or so later, I'm out at the Lane County Country Club with my dad and I remembered Jason.  I looked at him very seriously and said, "well, I suppose I should tell you about Jason Lorimor."

Dad's eyebrows rose up above his receding hairline and I could see the "you mean I have a grandson I don't know about" thought, plain as day across his bare forehead.  After several minutes of laughter I told him about the lump and what the doctor said and Amy's thoughts about the whole thing.

He still gets brought into conversation more times than you'd think......